Updated: Sep 28, 2022
This post contains serious spoilers for Season 2 of Love is Blind. If you haven't finished it yet, you probably never will because it's something you either watch in a weekend or just give up on after 20 minutes. You've been warned.
Image contains Shayne Jansen, the sort of tan, sort of blonde, sort of fit star of Netflix's dope af reality show Love is Blind, standing in a stock image nursery because I superimposed him into it.
Wow! Babysitting is hard! I should know, I babysit my niece, Cristal and my three nephews Baby Chad, Colton Henley Bentley and Travis (I think his name is Travis, it might actually be Trevor, it's hard to tell) for free every single weekday afternoon plus all day Saturdays and after church Sunday. What can I say? I'm in demand.
Thing is, I can understand why my stepsister Stacia feels so strongly that I'm her best free option for childcare because I don't have a criminal record and also I'm really cool compared to most babysitters because I don't spend the whole time texting my boyfriend since I don't have one.
Unfortunately for you, I can't babysit your kids because I'm already so busy, which is why you may be asking yourself, since Blandy Cobbles can't watch my little one, is it okay for Shayne Jansen of Love is Blind season 2 to babysit my baby?
The Answer is Probably! Here's Why:
Shayne Has Undergone a Rigorous Vetting Process
Of course you want to vet the person left to care for your precious child as much as a reality dating show would want to verify the stability of a potential cast member! As was made extremely clear by watching the second installment of Netflix's megahit, Shayne had to jump through an insane amount of hoops to even be considered an eligible bachelor. Some of his most glowing criteria include:
He's a licensed real estate agent.
He spent a lot of money on his teeth.
He is famous.
Shayne Didn't Pick Shaina, and That's More Than Kyle Can Say
Sure, he really loved knowing what Shaina was wearing because he obviously loves fashion and wants to have a finger on the latest trends (hint: it's always a cute lil crop top) of which Shaina is, in his eyes, the last word on, but he didn't propose to her! Instead, Kyle made that horrific mistake and found out the hard way that Shaina's only true turn on is guys who say they're Christian (Catholic is fine too) and also, guys who don't like her.
In the end, if it were to come down to picking Kyle or Shayne as your child's babysitter, the obvious answer is not Kyle because Kyle makes bad choices.
Speaking of Which, Shayne is Obnoxious but Not as Obnoxious as Kyle
Ask anyone, including Mr. Jansen, and they'll tell you that yeah, the dude is a little obnoxious. From needing a ton of positive verbal affirmations to absolutely obliterating fiancé Natalie Lee's heart (and reputation for having good taste) all on a streaming platform that reaches millions of viewers, he's made at least a couple whoopsies! But it still doesn't compare to listening to Kyle Abrams try to convince Shaina Hurley that they're in love while she's carelessly wearing his own mother's ring on her thumb.
Again, if we're talking asking Shayne vs Kyle to rock your teething bundle of joy down for a nap while you run up to T.J. Maxx and Starbucks for a few hours, the answer is obvious.
Sal Isn't Available to Babysit Because You Will Leave Your Husband For Him
Statistically speaking, there's a solid chance that if you accept Sal's offer to babysit it'll end with the demise of your marriage when you leave your husband for the sweet, sensitive snack that is Salvador Perez - which isn't actually going to be good for your baby.
Or is it?
UPDATE: Upon viewing Season 2's riveting three episode follow up, After the Altar, it turns out that no one is leaving anyone for Salvador Perez. However, it's still not okay for you to let him babysit because his girlfriend Jessi will show up to your house in lingerie and twerk which isn't the kind of influence your baby or your husband needs.
He Won't Get Sweat All Over Your Baby but Nick Definitely Would
Picture this: It's a mildly sunny April afternoon and you've just written the babysitter a $60 check to take your treasured offspring on a short stroll around the neighborhood while you shave your legs. How do you envision that going down? Do you anticipate your baby being returned to you drenched in sour smelling man sweat? If the answer is no then you absolutely can not hire Nick Thompson.
Listen to me, I'm not messing around here. The amount of perspiration that poured from Mr. Thompson's body during the approximately 50 seconds it took his now wife, Danielle to walk herself down the aisle is exactly why you need to reconsider him as your childcare option. What would happen if he had to pull a pizza out of the oven during a Nick @ Night commercial break while your child was in his care? Please think this through.
Danielle Asked to Babysit but You Want Your Baby to Live
It was really nice of Danielle to offer. But, no.
He's Not Shake
If I'm being honest here, the number one thing that Shayne Jansen has going for him these days is that he's not Abhishek Chatterjee, and that alone is good news for your baby.
Shayne Jansen Cares About Cheese
Maybe the most important reason to consider Shayne Jansen as your main childcare provider is that, as a Wisconsinonian he really cares a lot about cheese. He cares so much that he requested a cheese fountain be present at his (failed) wedding. And, since you love your baby probably as much as you love cheese (hopefully you're not lactose intolerant) then he will love and care for your baby just as you would. Wow. It doesn't get any better than that.
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